Shut Up and Parent Better

Photo used by Creative Commons license, by Seq on Flickr

Me, not you. I would never tell you to shut up.

I’m reading this book that I feel was divinely sent to me. I ordered it on Amazon, so I know little book elves didn’t magically ferret it under my pillow one night. I still feel it was handed down from on-high (take your pick which mountain or deity) because it is helping me so much during this latest parenting crisis!

The book, Love, Limits and Lessons by Bill Corbett is quite slender with large type. It’s an easy read with quite simple ideas, some of which I’ve heard or read before but haven’t figured out how to reflexively apply, others being completely new to me.

This evening, at dinner, I focused on Corbett’s tactic of silence. He mentions the power of silence for a few situations – when seeking compliance about something a child is supposed to do, as well as to reward a child with 100% attention. I can’t explain it as eloquently as he does (obviously – look at the title of this post!), so I’ll just leave it to him. Get the book!!! I will say that I had the most amazing time with my two young children. My son, 23 months, never sits still for meals and eats almost nothing. Tonight, without saying a word, I managed to get him to eat most of his meal just by gently redirecting him back to his seat (and sitting 8 inches from him) and saying “eat” or just pointing at his food. I got no push-back from him.

My daughter, at 3.5 years, can be quite a handful – a total bundle of energy and sprite, rolled in with the greatest stubborn streak and desire to rule the world. She also never, ever, stops talking as long as she’s awake and she almost always talks IN A FULL SHOUT LIKE SHE’S IN ALL CAPS MODE ALL THE TIME. Tonight, just by being 100% present with her and giving her very minimal verbal response, she was lovely and calm at dinner. I felt like this was one of the first dinners I could breathe through.

Thank you Bill Corbett!!!

If you want to know more about Corbett’s work, here’s his site: http://billcorbett.vpweb.com/default.html and, more importantly, here’s his blog with some wonderful parenting articles on it.

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