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Abstract: There is an inverse relationship between the amount of peace and quiet required for bathroom time and the amount provided, depending on the lengths to which one goes to secure said “peace and quiet.” If you want total solitude while going to the bathroom with young children in the house, leave the bathroom door […]

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This is the counterpart to the original “Axiom on Leaving the House with Small Children.” If you have nowhere to go and no particular time to be there, you will successfully have everyone out of the house in ten minutes. If you have somewhere to be, even if it’s somewhere that the children would like […]

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You can leave the house for months of three-hour-stints and never need to use a diaper, provided your diaper bag is stocked with enough provisions to supply a small daycare for a week. The one time you leave the house for a 20 minute dash to the grocery store, forgetting your diaper bag, your baby […]

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If you spend more than $7 on a cheap, plastic toy for a small child, they are guaranteed to be more fascinated by the packaging the toy came in than the actual toy itself. If you spend less than $7 on a cheap, plastic for a child, the more likely they are to play with […]

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You can learn more about the subject of leaving the house with small children and fathers here. If you have nowhere to go and no particular time to be there, you will successfully have everyone out of the house in fresh diapers with snacks, spit-up free shirts, sunhats, water bottles and sunscreen in eleven minutes. […]

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I recently started using StumbleUpon and it’s just added a whole new level of time-suck to my Internets experience. I came across this lovely piece, “Preparation for Parenthood,” which is painfully accurate in some respects, especially #8 on leaving the house. There really are some smahties down there at Stanford. It makes me think of […]

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